Book Review

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents    by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

9781626251700_0.jpg

I can’t say enough good things about this book. First of all, it’s important to remember that most parents do the best job that they can when raising their children. One thing that I valued about this book, was that it never takes the tone of bashing or blaming parents for all a child’s difficulties. However, it does not shy away from addressing what results from core emotional needs being unmet during childhood. Secondly, I appreciated the author’s empowering approach; aiming to help the reader take responsibility for their own needs and teaching strategies for learning to negotiate relationships with people who lack emotional maturity. I found the book to be extremely helpful in breaking down these into manageable steps: learning to stay observational not emotional, practicing emotional maturity awareness, and stepping out of old roles. Lastly, the book ends with a chapter on how to recognize emotional maturity in others. Often, when children grow up in homes with emotionally immature parents, they continue to seek out other people who have similar or familiar emotional patterns. This can lead to a lifetime of hardship and broken relationships unless they can learn to recognize and pursue healthy and mature people. I believe that learning to identify the characteristics and behavior patterns of mature individuals is beneficial to everyone, regardless of childhood experiences. 

For many years now, I have journeyed with women who have found themselves in a pattern of frustrating, chaotic, or imbalanced relationships often as a result of an emotionally unfulfilled childhood. Many of them have found freedom by growing in their own awareness, acceptance and emotional maturity. If this resonates with you, please contact me so that we can talk further about working towards your own healing.health.wholeness.

https://www.newharbinger.com/adult-children-emotionally-immature-parents

Therapy for Women with Anxiety

If you have a lot of anxiety, you're not alone. According to the National Institute of Mental Health approximately 40 million adults suffer from a Anxiety Disorder. Although anxiety can be a very treatable condition, only one-third of people receive any treatment. If you are looking to find freedom from worry, chronic stress, fear, and anxiety then you are in the right place. For years, I have worked with women experiencing many forms of anxiety, including Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, and Panic Attacks. In working with women with anxiety, I utilize a CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) approach which has been researched and proven to be an effective mode of treatment for Anxiety and Depression. The link below has some helpful information about anxiety. If you are interested in learning more about how I can partner with you to help you find freedom from worry, then contact me about scheduling a consultation. 

http://www.adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics

Being Your Best Self!

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle

    Excellence is not about being without error, but rather being our best self, the person that we are meant to be. Often times, our choices or habits, shroud our true identity and cause us to be our less-than-better-selves. Consequently, our lives add up to a series of habits, choices that we make, and behaviors that we do. We all have habits or behaviors that we’d like to change:

  • staying in a relationship or situation that isn’t healthy
  • not advocating for ourselves
  • being over committed
  • lacking self-discipline with food, money, exercise, etc. 

    Changing a habit or behavior can be difficult, but not impossible. It takes desire, self-discipline, and commitment.  We often try to make changes, only to quickly fall back into old patterns. However, if we take some advice from Aristotle, excellence or rather the success of reaching our desired behavior, is only a new habit away. Making a habit change has several stages: self-awareness, making a plan, working the plan, and maintaining the new behavior. Having a trusted companion, like a therapist, can provide a source of accountability, encouragement and support in making habit or life changes that last. So what's standing in the way of you being your best self?

Creative Therapy

Every person is inherently creative whether they recognize it or not. Sometimes, creativity is thought of in a limited way, in regards to making art, or other external creative designs. However, the definition of create shows us differently:

         create: 

  • to cause to come into being, as something unique.
  •  to evolve from one's imagination, as a work of art or an invention
  • to arrange or bring about, as by intention or design

One of the aspects that sets me apart from other therapists, is my ability to integrate creativity into the therapeutic process. Being creative in therapy, is about tapping into each client's ability to create something unique. From utilizing metaphor, to art making, to creative problem solving, I am always trying to keep the therapy experience interesting and evolving. Growth and change requires a movement away from sameness or stagnation, towards bringing newness into existence. In other words, therapy is a collaborative creation.

Taking Care of You

No matter what season of life you find yourself, with age, relationships, career, or family status, taking care of yourself is not only vital to your own health and well being, but also to those who rely on you. As women, we often strive to support and give to others with our time, money, energy or individual talents. We work hard to give our best to our careers, families, friendships, and all the other aspects of our lives in which we are involved. Sometimes we feel like we are giving so much, and that there is hardly any time or energy left to devote to nurturing ourselves. However, it is vital for us, no matter what season of life that we are in, to be nurturing ourselves, inside and out. Most women I talk to do agree that it is important to take care of themselves not only to be healthy themselves, but so that they can continue giving of themselves in all the ways they do. Yet, so often there are hindrances that stand in the way of being able to practice self care at all, let alone do it well. Sometimes women think that focusing on themselves is selfish or they experience a sense of guilt about it. Other times, women have difficulty setting clear boundaries around their commitments and end up giving all their time or selves away. Take some time to reflect on your own life and assess whether you are giving yourself the amount of time and focus that you need to nourish yourself in body, mind and spirit. For today ask yourself these questions: How well am I caring for myself and my own needs? Do I tend to prioritize the needs of others to the detriment of my own? What hindrances are prohibiting me from giving myself the care that I need?